To Love Her
by starrygirlb
Summary: Madge awakens in 13 with no memory of her past year. Gale is desperate to win her love again but someone else is too. Who will she fall for this time around? Who will capture her heart? An alternative twist for the fanfiction "My Everything". More than a one shot but not a lengthy venture.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:_ Okay, so I know I said I was done with Fanfiction but I couldn't seem to get a few lingering ideas out of my head so I started what was meant to be a one shot but it seems it'll be a little more than that. Not long enough to be a full on story or anything but longer than a one shot. Probably a handful of chapters at most. It picks up shortly after Madge awakens in 13 without memory of her past. Gale's desperate to win her love again but Tripp isn't sure he can just sit back and not fight for her this time. Some things will be similar to what you read in "My Everything" and some will be different. It's meant to be an alternate course of events to what transpired in "My Everything". POV's will be Madge, Gale and Tripp. At any rate, here's the first chapter, hope you enjoy!_**

**Chapter 1**

(Madge POV)

My entire head is throbbing. With my eyes closed, I reach up and massage my temples a little. It doesn't help. I sigh and open my eyes. Gazing around the room, I feel the urge to close my eyes again but I don't. I just don't. Instead I force myself to take a deep breath and push myself to a sitting position. I'd been lying here, desperately trying to sleep but it's no use. The pounding in my head is relentless and my thoughts are racing through my mind from all different directions.

Think clearly Madge. Focus on just one thought at a time. I tell myself this. Whether it helps, I'm not certain. In the past 24 hours, I've woken up in a strange place, been informed that not only have I forgotten an entire year of my life, but I was a tribute in the games, was rescued from the arena and now living in District 13 which is apparently an underground district. The best part though? I mean, the real shocker? That I am married! To Gale Hawthorne of all people!

I was released from the Medical Center and an employee walked me up to the place I'll be living. It's called a unit. Sort of District 13's version of a house. Only it isn't a house. Really just a single bedroom and a very small bathroom. Undecorated. Plain and very concrete. No windows underground of course. That would all be something I could get used too if it weren't for one thing. Or person rather. I don't get to live here alone. I have to live here with Gale.

It was incredibly awkward last night. Gale Hawthorne and I are not, nor have we ever been, what I would consider friends. We barely know each other. Or at least that's the way I remember it to be. And apparently, I've got it all wrong. Last night, after some very awkward conversation about how it is we came to even speak to each other, much less become a couple, I'd gotten a headache and when he brought me my medicine, he'd reached out and stroked my cheek with his fingertips. I'd pulled back instantly, terrified he was about to kiss me. And his face just fell. I'd crushed his heart in one split second of an instant. I tried to cover up the tension by saying I felt like sleeping but the moment I'd said it, I regretted it. There was only one bed in our room. Thankfully, he was a gentleman and didn't try to sleep in the bed with me. He'd taken the floor and let me have the bed to myself. Thanks to the medicine, I'd fallen asleep fairly quickly. When I woke this morning, I heard the shower running and I took that as my opportunity to pretend to still be asleep. Last night was so incredibly uncomfortable between Gale and I that I just couldn't bare to face him again this morning. Not while my head is all foggy and confused. He'd hesiatated to leave with me still sleeping. I could tell by the way his footsteps paced across the floor. Ultimately, he'd left though.

And that leaves me sitting here in bed, trying to make sense of this all. I just can't seem to figure out how to do that. There's a piece of paper on the night table by the bed. Some sort of schedule for me I think. It says I'm supposed to go to the Medical Center today and meet with more doctors. And I'm running out of time before I'm supposed to be there. I let out another sigh and decide a bath might help get me going. In the small bathroom, I disappointingly find that there's only a shower stall, not a bathtub. And it comes with lukewarm water. I fight back tears and try to give myself a pep talk. It's okay Madge. You'll get your memory back soon and everything will make sense again. Or else I'll wake up from what is surely the strangest dream I've ever had. I don't get a leisurely shower though because this lukewarm water quickly becomes icy cold. I climb out and find a towel. It isn't soft and fluffy like the ones in my bathroom at home. Instead it's stiff and almost scratchy. I dry off quickly and only then does it hit me that I don't know where my clean clothes are. I wrap the towel around myself and tiptoe back into the bedroom. I'm just opening the dresser when the door to the unit opens. I startle and my head shoots up, finding Gale standing there, mouth open, staring at me.

"Turn around!" I shriek half out of embarrassment , half out of anger. Doesn't he have enough manners not to stare at me while I'm half naked?

"Sorry." He mutters as he quickly turns around.

I grab a folded pair of pants and a top from one of the drawers and then dart back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I furiously pull on the ill fitting clothing. How embarrassing! I cannot believe he just saw me in nothing but this measly little towel! And now I'm going to have to come out of here and face him after that? No. No way am I doing that! I sit down on the floor and hug my knees to my chest. No use fighting the tears any longer. They slide down my cheeks and I don't think I've ever felt more lost and alone than I do right now.

After what feels like a good little while, there's a soft knock on the bathroom door. I don't respond. I'm too upset. Too embarrassed. It's altogether too awkward. But Gale doesn't take the hint. He knocks again, this time calling out my name.

"Madge? I'm sorry, I should have knocked before I came in. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you knew where you needed to go and all."

"I'm fine. Just fine!" I call back out through the door.

There's silence for a minute or two and I think he must be debating what to do next. "Well, um, I think you're supposed to go back down to the Medical Center. I…I can walk you down there if you want."

"No thank you. I can find it on my own." I reply. I know he's trying to be nice and I know he didn't mean to embarrass me but I just can't face him right this minute.

"Okay. I'll see you later I guess." He calls back to me. His voice is sad and I guess this must all be just as hard for him as it is for me. I don't want to make him sad but I just don't know him. I just don't. I don't say anything back to him. I just wait for the sound of the door closing behind him as he leaves.

After a few more minutes just for good measure, I finally pull myself from the floor and cautiously open the door. Empty room, thank goodness. I glance at the clock. Of course I'm already late. And to top it off, I honestly have no clue how to get to the Medical Center. I wasn't paying attention last night when I left there so I already know I'll have to ask someone for directions. Sure, the easiest, most sensible thing would've been for me to allow Gale to help me find my way down there but I just couldn't do it.

I put on my bravest face and head out into the hallway. It's mostly empty and I chew my lip, trying to decide which way to go. Left or right? Which way was it again that I came from? I know I'll need to get on the elevator, but which way was it? Left it is, I guess. At this point, I'm already late anyway so if I get lost, I doubt it'll even matter. I follow the winding hallway until it ends with a large door, unlike the other doors I've passed by. I push through the heavy door and realize that I've found the stairs. This will do, I think to myself as I begin making my way down them. I'm unsure of how many flights down I should go but I continue on just in case I find a directory board or perhaps someone to ask directions of. I've cleared three flights when I bump into someone. A lot of someones. Familiar someones.

"Oh, hello there dearie. You look a little lost. Perhaps I can help?" An official looking woman in gray asks me. She's holding a clipboard and has a trail of people following her. People from 12. Katniss, Peeta, The Krull family. Mrs. Hawthorne and Gale included. I feel my face redden in more embarrassment and I reply in a low voice.

"Thank you, I'm looking for the Medical Center."

"Yes, yes, of course you are. Let me get someone to show you." She says as she turns and before I can stop her she calls out for a volunteer to take me down to the Medical Center. If I wasn't already mortified, this ought to do it. Madge Undersee, helpless as always.

I see Gale step forward as if to volunteer but Tripp Krull beats him to the punch. "I'll show her. I was just there yesterday, know exactly where it is."

I relax a little because at least I know Tripp. I mean, I know him more than Gale anyway. His parents owned the Café in town so I've crossed paths with him regularly, though I wouldn't really call us friends. Acquaintances more so. But still, at least with Tripp it won't be awkward and he won't have just seen me in nothing but a bath towel.

"Wonderful, thank you. You can meet up with us again in the cafeteria afterwards." She tells Tripp as she turns and proceeds to continue leading her group on their tour. As they walk passed Tripp and I, I notice the pained look on Gale's face even though I try not to meet his gaze. I'll have to apologize to him later for how I acted this morning when he came in. I shouldn't have yelled and I shouldn't have slammed the bathroom door. Even if I was embarrassed, I shouldn't act like that.

"You don't have to walk me all the way there. Just point me in the right direction and I'm sure I can find it." I tell Tripp.

He smiles and shrugs. "I was bored with that tour anyway. Everything here looks the same to me so the tour gets old really fast." He tells me as he leads me down the stairs. "Have you ever seen so much concrete in all your life?" He jokes.

"I know. It's so cold and plain." I agree.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Headaches but other than that, fine thank you."

"Getting settled in okay?"

I hesitate. "It's all a little much to take in sometimes. I mean, I haven't been here more than 2 days and with my head injury, my memory isn't working the way that it should and that makes things a little awkward."

"I can imagine. How much do you actually remember? I mean, if it's okay for me to ask."

"It's fine. Well, the last thing I remember is sometime during Katniss's games. After that, I've got nothing."

"Oh wow! Guess things are more than just a little awkward for you then." He says jokingly.

"You could say that, yes." I say with a little bit of a laugh. It feels natural talking like this with him. Maybe he and I had become better friends during the time I can't remember? I don't know.

"Well, hang in there. I'm sure it'll all come back to you soon enough." He reassures me.

"That would be more than fantastic. I think I'll have to round Gale up later and apologize. I haven't been very nice to him so far." I confess without even really thinking about it. Something about talking to Tripp just has me pouring it all out to him. I blush a little realizing I might be over sharing.

"Gale's crazy about you, it'll all be just fine, I'm sure of it."

"Sorry, I think I'm over sharing. It's just, I don't know why but it feels natural to talk to you." I apologize.

"Eh, don't worry about it. I know you can't remember it but you and I are actually pretty close friends. If we were back home it wouldn't have been unusual for you talk to me about whatever was on your mind." He shrugs as if my apology isn't necessary.

"We were?" I ask, smiling as the new bit of information.

"Yep. Well, this is your stop. Need me to wait around for you, make sure you can find your way back home?"

"Oh, thanks but I'm sure I can find my way. Just got a little turned around this morning."

"Alright then, I'll leave you to it. See ya around!" He calls out with a wave as he heads back the way we came.

I smile to myself. So I have a friend. Tripp Krull, the boy from the café is my friend. How about that? Friends weren't exactly something I remember myself having many of so it's kind of nice knowing that things changed for the better in that regard.

The woman at the front desk takes my name but seems to have some difficulty finding my appointment in her books. After several minutes and a phone call she looks up at me, smiles the fakest of smiles and sends me back to a room. Turns out the reason she couldn't find my appointment was because I gave her the wrong name. I told her I was Madge Undersee but the appointment was for Madge Hawthorne. Geez, I can't even remember my own name. This is ridiculous.

"Hello there Mrs. Hawthorne, we've been expecting you. Please, have a seat." A man with glasses greets me as he gestures towards a chair. Another man nods in my direction.

"I apologize for my tardiness, I'm a little out of sorts this morning. I hope I haven't kept you from other appointments." I apologize in best illusion voice.

"Not a problem. Let's get started, shall we?"

I nod and then listen as the two of them introduce themselves and explain in great detail all the plans they've laid out for my treatment and hopefully, my recovery. It's a little hard to keep it all straight but I think I get the overall gist of it. I'll have a full medical evaluation today followed by regular appointments with a doctor as well as a therapist. And there will be homework too. Assignments that they hope will spark my memories.

After our meeting, they take me over to the medic who completes a full medical exam. She tells me it's to establish my baselines, whatever that means. From there, she gives me a packet that has instructions for my first assignment and sends me on my merry way.

I manage to find my way back home without getting too terribly turned around. I'm hungry and I'm exhausted and my head is still throbbing. I'm not sure if I should go find the cafeteria or if I should try and take a nap or what. My schedule paper shows that I should be at lunch now and perhaps that means that there are only certain times of the day when meals are made available in 13? I sigh and decide that I need to suck it up and go eat. As much as a room full of strangers isn't appealing to me at the moment, the idea of food is. I'm starving.

I follow the crowds to the cafeteria and my hope is that I can slip in and out, unnoticed. No such luck though. As soon as I step off the elevator, I run straight into Gale. It's instantly uncomfortable. I need to apologize for this morning but I don't want to do so with an audience.

"Um, hi. Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" I ask as I suck in a deep breath.

"Yeah, of course you can. Come on." He tells me and heads for the empty stairwell. I follow, feeling guilty about the sadness I can see in his eyes.

Once we're in the stairwell, he turns to me and tries to start. "Listen, I'm really sorry for this morn…"

"No, wait. I want to apologize to you actually." I interrupt. "Seeing as that we're married, I know it must seem as if I over reacted this morning when you walked in as I was dressing and I'm sorry for the manner in which I handled the situation. I shouldn't have yelled or slammed the door the way that I did."

His face relaxes a little but the sadness still lingers in his eyes. "I know this is all overwhelming and I can't imagine how strange it all feels for you right now. I'll try and be more aware of what I'm doing and be more careful. I really am sorry for upsetting you."

"I wasn't thinking. I should've dressed in the bathroom. It was partly my own fault. I should be more careful too. I'm just not used to sharing my space I guess." I offer up a smile.

He smiles back but it still seems uneasy underneath it all. "Well, how about some lunch?"

"I'm starving actually." I confess. And we make our way back into the cafeteria.

(Tripp POV)

I watch as she and Gale walk into the cafeteria together. They seem very uncomfortable. Stiff almost. This morning when I was showing Madge the way to the Medical Center, she'd seemed like her normal self, minus having a memory anyway. She talked to me just like she has the whole time we've been friends. She told me she was having a hard time settling in and I kinda got the feeling that mostly had to do with Gale. It's got to be hard. Waking up and finding out that you're married to someone. Especially when that someone is Gale Hawthorne and you're the Mayor's daughter.

From the miserable look on Gale's face this morning after he arrived late to Orientation, I have a feeling this must be doing a number on him too. Even now, seeing them together, they don't look happy. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me is terribly sad for Madge. She must be so scared and feel really, really lost right now. But on the other hand, part of me feels a surge of hope over all this. I'm sure it's futile but I can't help but hope that maybe this is my chance. Madge will have to fall in love with Gale all over again and while there's a very real chance that will happen, there's also a chance that it won't. I mean, what if she just doesn't? What if this is the chance I never really got? I feel like an awful person even thinking such things but I just can't help it. I've loved her for so long. What if this is how fate wanted it to be? What if fate always planned it this way?

I made the mistake of talking to Marah about it. She's always known how I felt about Madge and she's never been a fan of my being sidelined as just a friend. When she heard that Madge didn't remember being with Gale, she jumped at the chance to try and help me win Madge over. It feels dishonest though. Dishonest to Madge and that's the last thing I'd want. Marah agreed to not act on anything and to stay out of it but I know her well enough to know that she won't do it. Not for long anyway.

So now I have this whole dilemma of what I should do. Do I tell Madge about my feelings for her? Remind her that she loves Gale and not me? Or do I use her whole memory loss as my chance to get a different ending for the two of us? Do I tell her how I feel and then let it play out however it may? Or would that just alienate her from even being my friend? I sigh and decide at the very least, Madge could use a friend right now. I grab my tray and head over to where they're sitting and plop myself down next to Madge. I don't let my eyes meet Gale's because I know he'll be shooting me looks.

"Hey guys, mind if I join you?" I ask, trying to sound upbeat and easygoing.

"Hi Tripp!" Madge greets me. Gale mumbles a hello.

"Man, this food is terrible! Talk about bland." I say, making conversation as I push my food around my plate. And it is true, this is the worst food I've ever had.

Madge laughs. "It certainly isn't Café worthy, is it?"

"No, it certainly isn't. I'd give anything to be able to get in that kitchen and cook myself a decent meal right now."

"I'd love to be able to cook! At least you have the ability should you ever get a chance to get in that kitchen." Madge jokes.

I glance over at Gale out of the corner of my eye. He's watching Madge and the look on his face just shows how sad he is about her memory loss. I look back at Madge, unsure if I should share with her that she does indeed know how to cook. Before I can speak up though, Gale beats me to the punch.

"Well, you're a decent cook yourself you know." Gale says suddenly. I'm surprised because I wasn't expecting him to tell her seeing as how I was the one that taught her.

"What? I can't cook! I can barely make a sandwich!" Madge says in confusion.

"Nope. Not anymore. You became quite the cook and you did a remarkable job of keeping me fed every night." He tells her with a grin. One of his flirtatious grins. He's marking his turf. Subtly letting me know he's gonna fight for her all over again. It angers me a bit and I think to myself, game on Hawthorne, game on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

(Gale POV)

The worst part of it all is that I just can't seem to do anything right. But how do you know what the right thing to do or say is when the person you love most in the world doesn't remember you? Well, actually, that isn't true. She remembers me alright. Just not the way I'd hope she would. She remembers the Gale who played the field when it came to girls, not the Gale who only had eyes for her. She remembers the Gale who snapped at her without reason and the Gale who would rather do anything than acknowledge her existence.

And the look in her eyes, man, it cuts right to the heart, stabs deep. It's like a mix of fear and disapproval. Like she's scared of me. Maybe it isn't me she's afraid of but she's definitely afraid of being my wife. Either way, it hurts every time I manage to catch her gaze.

This morning, I'd really freaked her out by walking in and catching her as she was dressing. She was standing there in this thin, little towel and I couldn't help but stare, if even just for a split second. Course that split second was all it took for her to panic, screaming for me to turn around. I turned and tried to think of anything I could say to apologize. I should have knocked but it didn't even occur to me that she might be changing clothes. It wouldn't have occurred to me that she'd care. I've touched her, held her, kissed every square inch of her body before so why would seeing it now matter? But it does matter. It matters because to her, I'm not her husband, I'm just some stranger. She'd darted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

I wanted to make it right but I didn't know how. I'd waited and she didn't come out. I'd tried to talk to her through the door but I could hear the tears in her voice and giving her space seemed like the only thing I could offer her so I did just that. I left and headed to Orientation.

We were taking a tour of 13, the whole group of us from Orientation, when we come upon a lost Madge, trying to find the Medical Center. I shouldn't have left her to find it on her own. I should've insisted on showing her where to go. The woman leading our tour asked for a volunteer to show Madge where to go. I'd debated for a moment. Would she want me to? Was she still really mad about me walking in on her when she was naked? I decided it didn't matter and that I should volunteer anyway and was stepping forward, about to speak up. And then it happened. The thing I hadn't even had time to be afraid of yet. Tripp Krull stepped in, volunteered to walk Madge down to Medical. And she'd smiled at him as if she did remember him.

How could he? How could he do that? He knows full well about her memory loss. He knows she doesn't remember marrying me or loving me. Knows she vulnerable. But he did it. He saw a chance to get in her good graces and he took it. Before they left for the games he'd professed his love for her. All the time he'd been her friend, he never stopped loving her. And at the time, I trusted that he wouldn't cross any lines, wouldn't disrespect the marriage between Madge and I. But now, was it different? Did the rules change now that Madge doesn't remember loving me? Where we back at the beginning of it all where he and I both battle it out to win her over? My mother's hand on my shoulder calms me down and reminds me that I shouldn't panic yet. Tripp is her friend. He may not necessarily be trying to do anything shady. My mind is probably over-thinking everything right now. He probably just offered as a friend is all.

And later, I got a minute alone with Madge. One she actually initiated herself. I'd immediately launched into the apology I'd been practicing in my head all morning but she'd cut me off and surprised me by offering up her own apology. Still, I'd apologized too. Explained that I know this all a lot for her to take in right now and promised her I'd be more careful. I'd even gotten a little bit of a smile out of her. But part of it all seems superficial. Like she's acting purely out of formality, not fondness. And I suppose she is. But what else could I expect of her? She doesn't know me anymore, of course her illusion voice would take over. She never used to let people see anything other than that. Never let you see the real Madge.

We'd just sat down to eat our lunches when Tripp Krull plops his damn tray down on our table. She falls right into chatter with him and I don't fail to notice that she seems more comfortable talking to him than me. He has her laughing in mere seconds. I can tell by the way that he won't look directly at me that he most definitely intends to win her over, to steal her away from me. And he's ballsy enough to make a move right here in front of my face. Well, screw that. I love this girl more than anything and I'm not about to just forget about her. If he wants to play this game, then so be it. I'll play. I'll win her love all over again and he can watch me do it if that's what he wants. I won't lose her. Not to him, not to anybody.

So I turn on the charm. I know how to get her attention and I intend to do that whether Tripp Krull is sitting in front of me or not. I jump into the conversation and flash my most flirtatious smile at Madge as I compliment her cooking abilities. Makes my heart soar when I see her cheeks flush pink.

"I can't cook at all though! How did I…when did I learn?" She asks with curious excitement.

"Actually, I taught you. Once you moved to the Seam, I would come over after my shift at the café and give you cooking lessons. It was easy though, you were a fast learner." Tripp chimes in from across the table.

"Really?" She asks, her attention now turned to him.

"Sure did. Like Gale said, you became quite a good cook." He reassures her.

"Wow." She says almost too quietly to hear. "It's difficult to imagine that."

"You know, I've been assigned to the kitchen as my work position. Bet I could manage to sneak you in there sometime and let you try your hand at it again." I offer with another grin.

"You're going to be working in the kitchen?" She asks in surprise.

"Yep. I worked at the café for a few weeks before we came here. Guess that's where they thought I'd be most useful."

"Huh. I guess I'd just assumed you'd be doing something different." She tells me. It looks like she's deep in thought. Perhaps trying to picture me working in the café.

"I'm in the kitchen too, course that's probably a given seeing as how I grew up in the café. Are they assigning you a work position yet?" Tripp asks.

"They didn't say anything about working. But mostly everything has been about my health and my memory."

"Did they say anything new about your memory? Do they think it'll come back soon?" I ask, a little too eagerly. I can't help it. I'm just so anxious for her memory to be back so I can have my Madge back.

"They ran lots of tests. Gave me some homework. Some sort of assignment to help spark my memory. Actually, I think I should get going. I'd like to get started on that assignment right away." She says quietly, looking down.

"Oh, well, I can walk you back. Come on, let's go." I say quickly as I stand.

"Actually, we have a meeting with our supervisor in a couple minutes." Tripp tells me as if I didn't already know. He's now standing too and gesturing to the clock on the wall. He looks so smug I could smack him.

"I'm aware. Just don't want her to get lost again." I tell him through gritted teeth.

"Probably wouldn't be wise to be late on your first day." He continues.

"Oh, I can find it on my own. Really, I'll be fine. You two go on ahead. I wouldn't want you to be late on account of me." Madge says as she hurries off looking uncomfortable again. I think it just became clear to her that Tripp and I are in a battle for her and I'm not sure she knows what to think about that.

(Madge POV)

Surely I'm misinterpreting the signals here. Surely lunch wasn't what it'd ended up seeming to be. We were sitting there having our lunches and then suddenly I felt some sort of unspoken tug-o-war going on between Tripp and Gale. And it seemed like I was in the middle. But, my mind isn't working like it should be and there's apparently a lot I've forgotten. Perhaps this is how it always is between Tripp and Gale? It's unlikely they were friends. Tripp is from town and Gale is from the Seam. They're the same age but would have been part of completely different social circles. Yes, maybe that's all it was. Just normal weirdness created out of Gale being my husband and Tripp being my friend and them having to interact with one another when they normally wouldn't.

Husband. Gale is my husband. That feels so weird. For starters, I'm entirely too young to be his wife. To be anyone's wife. And while I do find him incredibly handsome that's pretty much it. I don't know that he and I have anything in common. What would we base our relationship on? I can't imagine what we would have in common.

I can see being friends with Tripp and honestly it's surprising that we weren't better acquainted before. Our families are part of town. My father and I would eat in his family's café all the time. Our path's have been intertwined for years. I'm kind of happy knowing I have a friend. Never really had any other than Katniss before.

I rub my fingers against my temples, trying to make my dull headache go away. Maybe I should take more of my medication and a quick nap before I start working on my assignment. I swallow down a blue pill and lay back on the bed. My pillow isn't fluffy like I wish. Not like the ones I have at home. Or rather, had at home. At my home in town. The home where I grew up. The only one I remember. I drift off to sleep as a single tear slips from my eye.

When I wake up, I open my eyes to find Gale laying next to me, his face less than a few inches from my own. He's sleeping. I jump up and off the bed. He stirs a little but doesn't wake up. What is he doing? Did he think it was acceptable to climb right into bed with me? How long had he been here? Anger shooting through me, I grab my assignment and leave before he wakes up. If I were to talk to him right now, it wouldn't be a very positive conversation. Out in the hall, I force myself to take a few deep, slow breaths. It mildly helps calm my anger.

I start walking and end up in the stairwell. It's deserted here, as it seems most all of 13 prefers to use the elevator systems. I sit on one of the steps and stare down at the envelope in my hand. Slowly, I open the tab and pull out the contents. A picture of a dress. A fancy one. And some instructions.

_Look over the picture and write down anything that comes to mind._

That's it? That's my whole assignment? How on earth is this supposed to help me regain my memory? It's just a picture of a stupid dress! I crumple the picture and shove it back in the envelope and then shove that into my pocket. I'm so frustrated right now that I could scream! Instead, I close my eyes and let the tears fall. I feel so out of control of my emotions right now. One moment I'm fine, the next I'm filled with rage, the next frustration and now tears? What is the matter with me?

"Hey! You okay?" I hear called out from above me. I hadn't even heard anyone approaching.

I wipe my eyes and force a smile onto my face. It's Tripp. "I'm fine." I lie.

"Doesn't look like it." He says as he sits down on the step next to me.

"Just a little overwhelmed right now. I'll adjust, it'll be fine."

"Madge, no one expects you to be okay right now. It's okay of you're upset. You know that, right?"

"I'm not sure what anyone expects of me anymore." I admit. "I mean, I'm in this place that isn't even supposed to exist. Surrounded by strangers. My family is gone. I'm married and living with someone I barely know. And I have no memories of anything for the past year of my life." I cringe inwardly at how pathetic I sound right now.

Tripp's quiet for a minute or two and I think maybe I've been a little too honest. Maybe I've made him uncomfortable. But then, he speaks.

"Got an idea that might make this whole transition a little easier for you. Actually, I'm not sure why this didn't occur to anyone else already. Come on."

"What? What kind of idea?"

"Just come on. You'll appreciate it." He says with a smile.

I follow him as he leads us to a place called Defense. Defense? Why would we be here? Before I can ask, he gestures for me to take a seat and says to wait for him. Then he speaks in whisper to the woman at the desk and she calls someone on the phone. She's speaking so quietly that I can't hear her at all. If it weren't for her mouth moving, I wouldn't even know she was speaking at all. After she hangs up, Haymitch Abernathy appears just moments later. He's here too?

I watch as he and Tripp speak quietly. Haymitch nods a few times and then turns to the woman at the desk. I watch as she seems to argue him for a moment and then finally gives in. She picks up her phone again and makes another call. I can't figure out what's going on at all. Tripp looks back at me, flashes a smile and winks before turning his attention back to the woman at the desk. I feel my cheeks flush a little. Having boys flash smiles or wink at me is definitely something I am unfamiliar with, friendly or otherwise.

Moments later, Tripp is standing next to me again, a slip of paper in his hand. "All right, all done here. Come on." He says tilting his head towards the door again.

"All done? What did we do exactly?" I ask as I follow in confusion.

"We fixed something for you." He says not giving away any clues.

"I see. And where is it we're going now?" I ask, trying not to laugh. I'm having fun with this, whatever it is.

"To see what it is of course."

I shake my head and smile but continue to follow him up a few flights of stairs. We get off on a residential floor and he checks the slip of paper in his hand. "Alright. This is it." He says punching a key code into the lock.

"This is what?" I ask hesitantly as we enter the small room. It's identical to the room I share with Gale except the bed is a single and the room is slightly smaller.

"Your new private living quarters. Temporary though. You only get it for the next month or so while you're adjust to being here in 13 and work on getting your memory back." He explains.

I stare at him, stunned silent. He arranged for me to have my own room? Gratitude and relief fill me at the same time. This is exactly what I need right now! "Oh my goodness! I can't believe you did this for me!"

He shrugs as if it were nothing. "Should've been this way from the get go. Nobody seemed to have thought about you possibly being more comfortable if you had your own space. Just slipped everyone's mind is all."

"Was it a huge inconvenience? I'd hate for anyone to have gone to any trouble over this."

"Like I said, they just didn't think about it. Once I mentioned it, they all agreed that given the current circumstances, that this would be the best plan for now. Just keep in mind, it's temporary. You don't have to stay here alone if you find yourself wanting to stay with Gale again."

"I understand and it…it's perfect, really, it is. Thank you so very much!"

"Well, I think I'll let you get settled then. See ya around." He says as he flashes another smile and wink my way on his way out the door.

(Tripp POV)

You couldn't wipe the smile from my face right now for all the effort in the world. I just succeeded in making a big move with Madge. I don't even think she realizes I'm doing it for the sake of love. I came across her, crying in the stairwell and when she confessed to being uncomfortable living with Gale, it hit me. She doesn't have to live with him. So, I played hero of the day by speaking to Haymitch and having him request a private room for her. He actually agreed that given her memory loss that she shouldn't be forced to share a bed with Gale. I knew going to Haymitch would do the trick. He's got a soft spot for that girl, but then again, don't we all in one way or another?

A big part of this feels good. Like I'm finally getting the chance to make an impression on Madge. The one I should've made long before Gale stole her heart. I'm going to have to be careful though. Right now, Hawthorne is practically smothering her and I think it's creeping her out. I'm going to come at her from a different angle. I'm going to just be there for her. Be the friend that she feels comfortable around and slowly build on that. I want her to feel like I'm the one she wants to spend time with and wants to be around. My only concern, my only fear is that her memory will come back before she falls in love with me. That would ruin everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

(Gale POV)

When I wake up, Madge is gone and according to the clock, I've been out for a few hours. I'd come home from my meeting with my supervisor and found her sleeping so soundly on the bed. Being exhausted myself after trying to sleep on the floor the night prior, I couldn't help but want to take a nap too. I'd opted to lie on the bed as well since we were both fully clothed and above the blankets. Figured that was okay. But now, waking and finding her absent, I'm second guessing my decision. Had she woken up and freaked out? Is that why she left? I'd been careful not to touch her. But that was when I was awake. Had I rolled over in my sleep and tried to pull her to me? Had I tried to wrap my arms around her? Have I scared her off? Or am I reading too much into this and she just left because she had something to do? God, I hope I didn't freak her out.

I'll go look for her. Could only be so many places. I get up, run my fingers through my hair and head out. It's close to dinnertime so I decide to check the cafeteria first. It's the most logical of places for her to be. On the way, I bump into Katniss and Peeta.

"Hey, you guys seen Madge around?"

They exchange a glance and instantly, I can tell something is wrong. "Um, why don't you go on ahead to dinner. I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Katniss tells Peeta and he nods, heading off.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" I ask as I try to fight off the panic rising within me.

"Nothing's wrong. I just found out something that I don't think you're going to want to hear about but I may as well tell you since you'll find out soon anyway."

I stare at her, arms folded over my chest as I brace myself for bad news.

"Madge has been assigned her own private living quarters. She wasn't comfortable sharing with you since her memory loss and all."

I feel as if all the air has been sucked straight out of my lungs. Madge isn't comfortable living with me? I mean, I know it was a little awkward but that would pass, right? It would get better? I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall. Then it hits me that this isn't something I would've expected Katniss to know about yet. Not before me. "How'd you find this out?"

She sighs a little. "Tripp Krull and Madge came to see Haymitch to ask if he'd arrange it. I was in his office when they came by so he told me about it."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Now Gale, I know you're about to flip out but I think you should stop and think before you do anything stupid." She warns.

"You don't understand. He's in love with her. Told me so himself just before they left for the games. He's gonna try and steal her away."

"And what are you planning to do about it? You gonna force her to love you and act like your wife even though she doesn't know you? Gonna threaten Tripp? Neither of those is going to get you what you want."

"Plan to do more than threaten." I mutter through a clenched jaw.

"Would you just stop and listen for a minute? I get that you're freaking out right now. I would be too, I get it. But you can't force any of this on her. You'll scare her before she ever gets a chance to know you again."

"So what solution do you suppose is best?" I snap at her.

"I suppose you could try and be supportive of her. Win her over the same way you did before. Lay on that Hawthorne charm like you used too. But whatever you do, watch that temper of yours because you won't win her over by showing that side of your personality."

I know she's partly right at least. My temper won't win me any favor with Madge. But how do you just stand by and watch someone actively pursue your wife? I don't know how to do that.

Katniss speaks again when I fail to respond to her. "Gale, if you really love her, you'll find a way to make it work out. You'll find a way to deal with having to start over and make her love you again."

I take a deep breath. "I'll try the best I can."

"I know you will. Feel like grabbing some dinner?"

I shake my head. With all the rage flooding through me at the moment the last thing I need is to see Tripp or Madge. Especially if they happen to be together, friendly or otherwise. Nope. Right now, I'm probably best off heading home to cool off.

"Okay, well, if you change your mind you're welcome to join me and Peeta." She tells me as she heads off towards the cafeteria. "Oh and Gale? Don't be stupid." She calls back over her shoulder.

I decide to head back home. Don't wanna run into anyone at all right now. Not sure if I want to cry or punch something. Or both. Actually, I know what I want. I want Madge to be my Madge again. Want her to remember me and to love me like she did before. And I don't see how she'll do that if I never get to see her. If we aren't living together.

I get my next surprise when I walk into my living quarters and find Madge. Packing up her few meager belongings. We both freeze and stare at one another. Neither of us sure what to say exactly. If it wasn't awkward enough before, it certainly is now.

"Hey." I finally say quietly. Nervously.

She swallows. "Hey."

"Need help getting your stuff moved?" I offer. Mostly because I don't know what I should say or do.

"Um, thanks but I've got it. There isn't much anyway. Just my medicines and some change of clothes." She replies as she fidgets with her stack of grey folded grey clothing.

"Ok." I say, trying to keep it simple so my voice won't crack.

"Listen, I was going to tell you. I just hadn't seen you yet is all."

"You don't have to explain anything to me." I say.

"But I want to. I owe you that much."

"You don't owe me anything." I tell her as I fight the inner battle between hurt and anger.

"I just wanted a chance to explain myself." She says almost defensively.

I rub my hand over my face. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just…I'm just confused about what it is you want from me."

"You're confused?" She says as she nearly laughs. "And here I thought I was the only one."

"I'm definitely confused. I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you anymore. Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing and now Tripp Krull has you moving out and getting your own place. Yeah, I'm definitely confused."

"Gale, this is hard for both of us. I just need my own space right now while I get my head on straight. It's too uncomfortable here, sharing a space with you."

"I never meant to make you uncomfortable. Tried really hard not too actually."

"I know that and perhaps uncomfortable isn't the best word. Being here, sharing a bed with you, it's all too…too intimate for me. At least for right now. And I can't expect you to sleep on the floor every night or to turn around every time I want to change clothes. It'll be better for both of us this way. And it's only temporary. I can come back anytime. If when that time comes you still want me too, I mean."

"Why wouldn't I want you here with me?" I ask as I fight the tears pooling in my eyes.

"I don't want you to be obligated to be with me, to wait for me. It isn't fair to ask that of you. And there isn't any guarantee that my memory will come back. I may never be the same girl you married."

"Obligated? You think I want you here out of obligation?" I ask incredulously. "Madge, I want you here because you're my wife. Because I love you so much it hurts!"

She closes her eyes but tears slip out anyway and I wipe away my own tears that had begun freely falling.

"Look, if having space is what you need, then I want you to have it. I always want you to have whatever it is that you need." I tell her more softly than before.

"I'm really, really sorry that I'm putting you through this." She apologizes, her voice quivering.

"It's okay. Look, I love you and all I'm asking is that you give me a chance. That you'll try to get to know me again. I know the version of me you remember isn't exactly a likable one but I promise that if you'll give it a chance, you'll see the version of me that you once fell in love with. And let me get to know you again too. If your memory never comes back, that's okay so long as you still let me get to know you as you are now. A chance, that's all I'm asking for."

"I think I can do that. If you're patient with me, I think I can do that."

Relief floods through me, head to toe. She'll give me a chance.

"I'll be as patient as you want me to be."

"Okay then. Do you want to walk me to my new place?" She asks me, offering up the best she can in the moment. It's not nearly enough in comparison to what my heart is aching for but I'll take it just the same.

I nod, reach out and take the pile of clothing from the bed and follow her out the door.

(Madge POV)

Gale walks me all the way back to my new place. It isn't far, just a couple floors away. He hesitates at the door and I wonder if I should invite him in for a minute. But then I don't know if that would just make it all the more weird for us after the conversation we just had. A conversation painful enough we'd both shed tears. So I thank him for walking me back and tell him goodnight. He nods and though I think he's trying to hide it, I notice the pained look in his eyes as he says goodbye.

Alone now, in the privacy of my own room, I get settled in and try to clear my head. When did everything become such a wreck? This is all the Capitol's fault. I may not remember most of what happened but I do know without a doubt that this is all the result of the Capitol and President Snow and the meddling they do with their Hunger Games and twisted rules. Every single thing wrong in my life is the direct result of their manipulations. And that's just sickening.

I'm about to change into pajamas and call it a day but a knock at my door stops me. When I open it I don't find a person, but rather a small canvas bag. I pick it up and take it into my room. Inside I find a sandwich, an apple and a note.

_Madge,_

_Figured you might be hungry since you didn't get dinner. Hope this tides you over until breakfast. Enjoy!_

_Tripp_

How thoughtful of him! I smile as I only now realize how hungry I am. The sandwich is good and I'm glad that I won't go to bed hungry. It's really, really nice having a friend like Tripp here in 13. Nice to have someone looking out for me when I otherwise feel so lost. Feels nice just having a friend. Guess there are some parts of my life the Capitol couldn't mess with.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

(Gale POV)

Two days. It's been two solid days since I had any time alone with Madge. Hell, if you don't count mealtimes, I've barely even seen her. And it's killing me. I have however, seen more than I wanna see of Tripp Krull. My luck being what it is lately, I get to work alongside that shmuck in the kitchen every day. The first time I saw him after his little room switching stunt it took every ounce of my strength to keep from knocking him on his ass. And I do mean every ounce. Thankfully, my time with Madge over the past year has taught me a little restraint. If anything, my unimaginable restraint with Tripp was purely for her sake. The last thing I need is for her to see my bad side right now. For her to see my temper out of control would most certainly not win me any favor in her eyes. And right now, that's gotta be my goal. To win her favor.

But how in the hell do I make that happen if I never get to see her? And when the few times, at meals, when I do see her, it's with dozens of people all around us? Tripp of course included with those people. I've gotta think of something good. A way to get her attention.

So, I'm headed to see Rory and try to get his advice. For being as young as he is, he tends to give good advice and he knows Madge really well so I figure he's my best bet for help right now. I find him as he's coming home from school, some girl batting her eyelashes at him and grinning all goofy is with him though so I'm not sure it's the best time.

"Hey, you got plans right now?" I ask as I look from the girl to him.

"Nothing in particular. Why, what's up?"

"Just kinda wanted some advice. But if you're busy, I can find you later."

"Yeah, sure." He tells me and then he turns to the girl and speaks. "I'll catch up with you at dinner. Is that cool?"

"Sure! I'll save you a seat!" She replies excitedly as she waves and darts off in the opposite direction.

"So what's up? You okay?"

"Nope. I'm anything but okay. Look, I gotta talk to you about Madge and what's going on and I need your honest opinion as to what I should do about it." I tell him."

"Come on, Ma's at work and Vick and Posy won't be home for awhile. We can talk at our place." He says and I walk alongside him towards my family's home. It's humbling having to ask your little brother for advice and normally I'd expect it to be the other way around. I mean, aren't I the one who should be guiding him in life? But whatever, he is or well, was at least, one of Madge's closest friends and I know I can trust him when I talk to him about this.

"Alright, spill. What's going on with you two?" He asks as he sits down on the bed.

I pace the floor as I try to figure out where even to begin explaining it all to him. "So you know how Madge has a memory loss from being hit in the head during the games? Well, she can't remember me and her as a couple at all. All she remembers is when I was mean to her for no reason other than that she was the Mayor's daughter."

"I already know that." He says, looking at me dumbfounded as to what my need from him is.

"Well, did you also know that Tripp Krull is in love with her?"

"Get out! Seriously? That makes so much sense now! That's why he volunteered for me at the reaping! So he could be with her!" He exclaims at the new information.

"Yeah but can you see my problem here? He's in love with her. And she knows who he is. They knew each other a little before I was with her. They're friends. And he's in love with her."

"Well hasn't he loved her the whole time? Maybe he can love her and still just be her friend. It is okay for her to have friends you know."

"No, I know it's okay for her to have friends. I want her to have friends. What I don't want is for her to have boyfriends. To have guys actively pursuing her or taking advantage of her memory loss."

"And you think that's what Tripp is doing?"

"I know it. Did you know she moved out? Tripp Krull arranged for her to have her own freaking place to live because she was so uncomfortable living with me!"

The look on Rory's face lets me know that he's realizing it too. That Tripp may very well be after Madge. My Madge.

"Well, has he done anything else? Have you talked to him about it?"

"He's always with her. Every time I turn around, the kid's there, smiling and making her laugh. The worst part is seeing how natural it is for her to talk to him when she can barely be around me. I haven't had a chance alone to talk to her in 2 days. Tripp's always there too. Always."

"But have you talked to him about it? Reminded him that she's your wife?"

"Not exactly. He knows I'm on to his game and all but he also knows I'm in a tight spot because anything I do will be viewed negatively by Madge right now. I mean, it's really all I can do not to punch his lights out. But he knows I can't right now and he's so freaking smug about it. I can see it on his smirky little face." I fume.

"You talk to Madge about it?"

"Not exactly. It's so hard with her right now. Everything I do freaks her out and just makes her pull away even further."

"Been professing your love to her, huh?"

"What? Of course. Why wouldn't I tell her that I love her?"

"Think about this Gale. If we were back home and you had not yet dated Madge and suddenly one day she just starts following you around like a lost, sad puppy and constantly told you how much she was in love with you, you'd flip out. I know you would. You'd laugh your ass off at her and consider her a crazy person. You know you would."

He's spot on. I would think she'd lost her mind. And it would make me want to stay away from her. "So you think I've been coming on too strong? That I shouldn't tell her how much I love her?"

"Don't tell her. Let her see it in what you do. And I don't mean grabbing her and laying a fat kiss on her. I mean, do loving things for her. And just a little at a time. Don't overdo it. Make an impression and then leave her to think about it."

"How? What exactly is it that I can do for her when I can't even get time with her?"

"I dunno. Just think about it Gale. Tripp may know her a little from growing up in town but you know her better than anyone else. How'd you let her know you were interested the first time around? What got you guys talking?"

"You were stuck on the other side of the fence and she had to help me get you out." I remind him. It almost hurts to think back to that day.

He chuckles. "Well, I can't go doing that again but I think you could still figure it out. I'm sure I wasn't the only reason why you two got together in the first place. I was just an excuse to get you talking is all. So go find your excuse and talk to her."

"So how'd you get so wise?"

"I consider myself gifted." He teases.

I roll my eyes at him and wave as I head out having gotten what I feel is good advice. So I need to find a way to talk to Madge, a way to show I care for her, without coming on too strong. What does she like? Sunflowers. I can find a way to get her some flowers and I'll give them to her at dinner! No. Wait, that's probably still too strong. I'll still look like I'm pleading for her affection. What else? Come on Hawthorne, think dammit! Books. Cooking. Gardening. Posy. But she doesn't remember learning to cook or to garden and she doesn't know how much she adores my little sister. So that leaves books. I wonder if they have any of those around here?

(Madge POV)

I'm definitely sleeping better and feeling more comfortable in my own room. It is lonely and a little too quiet at times but that's okay because it reminds me a little bit of home. It was always that way at my father's house.

I still don't have a shred of my memory back. The homework they've been giving me isn't helping in my opinion and I am beginning to wonder if it'll ever come back.

I haven't seen much of Gale since I moved out. Just at mealtimes when he and I are at the same table but not exactly together. I can't figure him out sometimes. My mind tells me that he hates me. That he's always been rude and condescending to me but the look in his eyes tugs at my heart and makes me want to believe there was so much more than that. So much different than that. And while a little part of me wants to talk to him and get to know him again I just don't know where to begin. I have no clue how to hold a normal conversation with him. And it doesn't help that he's so good looking either because it just seems to make me all the more flustered around him.

Tripp is easy though. When I talk to him I feel like I've known him forever. And well, I guess I sort of have. And he doesn't have that wounded look in his eyes like Gale does. In fact, I'd be lost here in 13 without him. He's quickly become what I'd consider my best friend. And I am so thankful for that. He's always thinking of me and doing things to make life easier for me. Like when he left me that sandwich and apple the other night or how tonight he's supposed to sneak me into the kitchen after dinner and give me a cooking lesson. Apparently, I used to love to cook and he'd been helping teach me how. He's just so much fun to be around and I can't imagine why we weren't this close back in 12. Back at the point where I actually remember things anyway.

Tripp is good looking too but not in the same way that Gale is. Gale has a bit of danger and mystery about him, something in his eyes or dark hair, that kind of excites me a little where as Tripp is just pleasant to look at in a simpler sort of way. When I look at him, he doesn't stir my curiosity the same way.

This is all new to me. Boys making me ponder their looks and all. I can't remember ever dating. Don't know anything about my first kiss. Have no idea what it feels like to fall in love. But technically, Gale is my husband and Tripp is just my friend. These are factual things I know but sometimes it feels just the opposite. I can't figure out why I feel more comfortable around Tripp if that's the case. If he's just a friend, then why is it so easy with him? Why do I feel like I could be completely myself around him but not Gale? Had I made a mistake back in 12? Had I overlooked Tripp when I shouldn't have? Ugh! This is so frustrating and so twisted that I can't seem to get it straight in my head how I feel!

No time to worry on that now though. Time for dinner. Meals are significantly less excruciating than they were in my initial day or two of being here. I don't get so many stares as most everyone is used to looking at my scars now. Even I'm getting used to them though a part of me still hopes that they fade some more. And since there isn't any makeup here in 13 like I had in 12, I suppose it's a good thing that I get used to looking this way. Not that makeup was ever a favorite thing of mine anyway.

As I get in line for dinner, I find myself joined by Rory Hawthorne, Gale's younger brother. He's the spitting image of Gale and nearly as tall too. You'd almost be able to mistake the two if you didn't know better.

"Hey. How's it going?" He asks me as he gets in line behind me.

"Hello. I'm good thank you." I reply shyly. For some reason, anytime any of the Hawthorne family is around me, I feel more shy than usual. As if I don't know how to act around them. It's so weird.

"See that girl over there? The one with the long hair? I think she likes me." He tells me as if I'm one of his best buds.

I follow his gaze and see the girl he's referring to. She's pretty. And she definitely seems to like him. She's got a smile plastered across her face and she waves enthusiastically when she sees him. He waves back. I notice she seems to be saving a seat for him too.

"She's pretty. What's her name?" I ask making polite conversation.

"Rebekah. She's in my class."

"Do you like her too?"

He shrugs and grins. "Guess so. Can't seem to stop thinking about her."

I laugh a little. Rory seems the easiest of all the Hawthornes to talk too. Maybe it's because when he talks to me, it doesn't matter if I remember anything from before or not. He only talks to me in the here and the now.

"So, you found any ways to have fun in this place yet?"

"Not really. But my friend Tripp is sneaking us into the kitchen tonight and giving me a cooking lesson so maybe my fun is just about to happen." The minute the words pass my lips, I regret them. Should I be telling my brother in law about my plans with another boy, even if he is just a friend? It isn't a secret or anything but I don't know how he'd feel about it. But, if it bothers him, he doesn't show it.

"Now you're talking! Gonna cook anything good?"

"I have no idea! Tripp's taken care of all of that. All I'm supposed to do is show up."

"Well, if you happen to bake anything like cookies or brownies, I call dibs on some of it, okay?"

"Deal." I agree as I smile. I think I like Rory. He's nice.

After we've collected our trays, he heads off to eat with Rebekah and I scan the tables of people until I find the one with Tripp and Marah. I join them as I look around for Gale but I don't see him. Dinner service is half over and usually, he's already here by now.

"So, you ready for tonight?" Tripp asks as I sit down.

"Mmhmm. You going to tell me what we're cooking?"

"Nope. It's a surprise. But you'll love it."

Marah rolls her eyes. "What are you two up too?"

"Tripp is giving me a cooking lesson tonight after the kitchen closes." I tell her.

She's about to reply something when Gale finally joins us at the table and she stops. For some reason, I always get a bad vibe between Marah and Gale. I don't think they care very much for one another.

"Hey, I was wondering where you were. You're late." I tell Gale, trying to make sure I greet him with a smile.

"Got caught up, lost track of time until my stomach started growling and I realized I was about to miss dinner. Sorry." He tells me with a hint of a smile.

"What did you get caught up doing?" I ask, curious as to where he's been.

"Just reading this book I found. Kinda got lost in it, you know?"

"You read?" Marah practically snorts from across the table. I don't like the way she just did it, but I have to agree with the surprise of it since I too couldn't picture Gale Hawthorne reading anything.

"Sometimes." Is all he replies, softly shrugging his shoulders as he focuses on shoveling food into his mouth.

"I love to read. My favorite book is a book of fairytales I had when I was a little girl." I tell him. I'm very intrigued by the thought of him reading and very curious as to what he's reading and where it is he found a book in this underground place but I don't want to push him on talking about it since Marah was so rude about him reading. Perhaps I'll ask him about it later. Yes, that will be a good conversation topic for us, I'll have to remember that.

Dinner finishes up without anymore rudeness but the conversation all around the table feels a little stiffer, a little more forced. After dinner, I expect Gale to offer and walk me back to my room but he doesn't. It's the first night that he hasn't asked. I don't have to meet up with Tripp for cooking until the staff is finished cleaning up from dinner so I have a little time to kill.

"Do you want to walk me home?" I ask and I only now realize how nervous my voice sounds. Why? What is it about Gale Hawthorne that makes me so uncomfortable but makes me want to be near him at the same time?

"Sure." Is all he says.

"So where on earth did you find a book in this place?" I ask, thankful to have a good topic for conversation for a change.

"There's a library."

"There is? Can anybody use it?" I stop walking and ask. Libraries weren't allowed back home but I knew what they were and the idea that I may have access to one has me very excited.

He smiles a little. "Yeah, anybody can use it. I can tell you where it is if you want."

Tell me? Why wouldn't he just show me? He's acting so different. "I'd like that. But maybe instead, you could take me there sometime?"

Another smile. "Sure. They're already closed right now though."

My heart sinks a little. Closed? I would've loved to have gone right this very second. "Oh, I see."

"Well don't sound so disappointed. I'm sure they'll open up again tomorrow." He laughs.

"I just never…I've never seen one. I knew what they were but I've never actually seen one." I explain bashfully.

"Soon then. We'll make sure and go there soon." He laughs as we stop just outside my door.

"Thanks for walking me home." I tell him as I linger at the door. The goodbye part is always the most awkward.

"Goodnight." He says, our eyes meeting briefly before he turns to head home. Maybe I'm wrong, but in that briefest of moments, they don't seem as sad as they did before. They almost look hopeful. And I'm almost sad to see him go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

(Tripp POV)

I haven't been this excited or this nervous in a long time. Tonight, I have a date with Madge. Well, I consider it a date. Not sure if she does or not. Probably not. I hope so though. I really hope so. I'm sneaking her into the kitchen after all the workers leave and giving her a cooking lesson. When I'd asked her if she wanted to do it, she got really excited and watching her smile like she did practically made my whole day.

She's continued to be comfortable around me and since she moved out of Hawthorne's place, I've been able to find more time to hang out with her.

Sometimes it's just a few minutes here or there but other times, it works out to be longer. And I haven't failed to notice that Hawthorne seems to be seeing less and less of her. I could really kick myself for having ever let him swoop in and steal her heart all that time ago back in 12. I knew her first. I had so many, many chances to ask her out before he ever did. But I was too much of a chicken. And then, by the time I finally did make an attempt, I was too late. He'd already beat me to her heart. But that never changed the way I feel about her. And back in 12, I never crossed any lines, never disrespected their marriage. But now things are different. Now Madge isn't necessarily interested in being Gale's wife or even his girlfriend for that matter. It's like we were granted a do-over. A chance to see what it would be like if we'd chosen differently back in the beginning of it all.

So, while it may not be the most orthodox of actions, I'm taking my chance at a do-over. And that's why I'm equally nervous and excited as I wait for Madge to arrive for our date. I want tonight to be perfect. I want this to be when she sees the possibilities of a life with me.

"Hey, have you been waiting long for me?" I hear whispered from behind me. I spin around and see Madge, beautiful as ever, even in her standard issued greys.

"Hey, didn't hear you walking up. And no, I haven't been waiting long, you're right on time. Come on." I reply as I lead us towards the kitchen.

"Are we going to get in trouble for being in here after hours?" She whispers.

I smile at her. "Nah, we'll say it's a homework project of sorts. And there's no need to whisper. Everyone left long ago."

She raises an eyebrow. "Homework?"

"Yep. Cooking lessons, just like we used too back in 12."

"I see. And they'll assume it's to help me regain my memory?"

"They might. Here, you'll need this." I tell her as I hand her an apron.

"Okay, so do I get to know what we're making now?" She asks as I watch her tie the apron around her tiny waist. She lost a lot of weight living in the Seam and she was already small to begin with. She never should've been there.

"Well, I thought about it and the one thing this place seems to be missing the most is dessert. Feel like baking a pie?"

"A pie? Is that hard? I don't want to mess it up."

"It's easy. Come on, let's grab our supplies."

After we've collected all the ingredients we need to make the pie, we get to work peeling apples. It takes her a few tries but she eventually gets the hang of it.

"How do you know how to do this without a recipe?"

"Just one of those things you just know how to do I guess. Years and years of experience."

"Do you miss having the café?"

"Sometimes. I miss having something that really felt like it belonged to me. What about you? You miss anything from 12?"

She's quiet for a minute. "I miss my family of course but other than that, I'm not sure I miss much."

"You mean to tell me you don't miss having me wait on you in the café?" I tease.

She blushes and I love it. I flat out love it.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asks as she bites her bottom lip a little.

I stop chopping apples and turn to face her. "Shoot."

"How did we become such good friends? I know we always knew one another from town and all but was there something that made us closer?"

I think for a minute before I answer her. "It's kinda hard to explain."

"Could you try?"

"Well, it's embarrassing."

"For me or for you?" She asks warily.

I exhale a little laugh and smile a bit at her. "For me."

"Well, if you tell me, I promise not to laugh." She bargains, leaning in a little towards me.

"Well, it starts way back. I'd always noticed you, always thought you were pretty, always knew how nice you were and I'd always wanted to ask you out but it took me a long time to work up the courage to try and get to know you better." I begin. I focus on cutting up the apples again because I'm not sure how she'll respond to all this and I'm not sure I can handle seeing it on her face if she reacts negatively. She's still leaning in, resting on her elbows on the countertops so I suppose I haven't scared her yet.

"And as it turns out, when the moment finally came and I tried to talk to you, Gale was there, working for you, and he sort of made it clear that I wasn't wanted."

"Wait, I was already dating Gale when you finally tried to become friends with me?"

"Well, not exactly. It was him seeing me making gestures towards you that made him realize how much he himself wanted to get to know you better. So he made it seem as if the two of you were already a couple so I'd back off. And Madge, I didn't just want to become friends with you. I really liked you and wanted to ask you out on a date. Gale saw that instantly and you, well, not so much."

"But that still doesn't explain how we became friends." She tells me in confusion. She's shifted positions but hasn't moved away which encourages me to keep giving her the history of us.

"Well, I eventually made one final big gesture, left you a big bouquet of sunflowers on your desk at school, and what I didn't know at that point was that you and Gale had begun secretly dating and my flowers were not appreciated by Gale in the least. He and I sort of had it out, he punched me square in the face."

She inhales deeply and her hand goes up to her mouth. I keep going with my story.

"I had a pretty good shiner after that and you were so kind about the whole thing. You came to my house and apologized and then you did something I never expected. You covered for me so I could save face. Made up a whole story about how I'd gotten the black eye while helping you reach something off a high shelf. You were so nice about the whole thing and I was just embarrassed."

"And I stayed with Gale after that? I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone who had tendencies towards physical violence." She comments quietly.

I look up at her. Her eyes are watery. Makes me want to hug her. I hate seeing her look as if she might cry.

"Madge, by that point you were head over heels in love with him just as he was with you. And trust me, being in love makes people do crazy things. Don't hold it against him."

"So he was okay with us being friends after that?"

"Eventually. I never crossed any lines after that and he began to trust me I guess. And I was so appreciative of you covering and saving face for me that I was happy to simply be friends with you on any level. After you quit school and married Gale, we spent more time together. He was always working and well, you needed a lot of help in the kitchen to say the least. So, we just became really good friends."

And then she does something I don't anticipate. She places her hand atop mine and I swear my heart stops for a second. "Tripp, I don't know if I ever told you this before, but I'm really thankful that we're friends. You mean a lot to me."

I swallow and look up at her. I want to pull her close and kiss her. Want to tell her that while I'm thankful to be her friend, I want more. I still want more. And she's standing so close to me, I can almost feel her breath on my face. Her hand still gently placed over mine.

"I'm glad to hear it." I manage to choke out. And that's a good way to put it. Choke. That's exactly what I just did. I had a chance to make a move, to pour out how I really feel, to kiss her and what did I just do instead? I choked, that's what.

And with that she smiles and removes her hand. The feel of her touch leaving my hand gives me the worst feeling. Makes me want to grab it back and squeeze it tightly. So I vow to myself that if I get another moment like that tonight, if there's a moment at all, scared or not, I have to make my move. If I don't, I'll never be able to forgive myself for not trying.

(Gale POV)

I can't believe how good things went with Madge tonight. Rory was so right. I've been coming on way too strong. I wasn't giving Madge any material to work with as far as getting to know me again. I was being exactly like a little lost puppy. But not anymore. Not tonight. I'd showed up late to dinner and she'd noticed. Even asked me about it. And I'd loved playing it all casual. Acting as if it were no big deal for me to have gotten busy reading in the library.

The library. Oh man, she'd been all over that. And I can't wait to take her there. Can't wait to show her how many books they have in that place. She'll be in book heaven. I wish they would've been open after dinner. We could've gone and that could've been my chances to get some much needed one on one time alone with her. Dammit, why did they have to be closed already?

And then it hits me. Maybe I can work around that. Maybe, just maybe I can pull off a big surprise for Madge tonight. I check the clock. It's late but not terribly late and she should probably still be up. I might have just enough time, if I can hurry.

I dart off towards Katniss's place and thankfully, she's there.

"Catnip, I need the hugest of favors and I need it really fast." I start pleading.

"Catnip? Oh boy, this should be good." She snorts.

"No, seriously, I need you to get me access to the library, like right now."

That does it. She rolls over in laughter, holding her stomach. "Your emergency is that you, Gale Hawthorne, need immediate access to the library?" She breathes out between laughs. Tears practically falling from her eyes.

"It's for Madge. I want to take her there. Privately. And tonight, as a surprise. She found out they have one here but it was already closed and she was really bummed so this is my chance to show her I care about her and want her to be happy. So can you help me get in there or not?" I tell her, ignoring every bit of her laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, let me see what I can do. Come on." She tells me pulling her composure together and nodding her head towards the door. I follow her out and down to Defense where she goes back and talks to Haymitch. When she comes back she has two cards in her hand.

"Temporary passes. Gives you a couple hours access tonight. Gotta turn em back in to Haymitch when you finish with them." She tells me as she hands them over.

"Catnip, you are the freaking best friend a guy could ever ask for!" I tell her as I, in my excitement, lean forward and hug her quickly. Something the two of us don't really often do.

I don't even wait for her to respond. I just start running, taking the stairs two at a time, trying to get to Madge's as fast as I can. She is going to love this! Once I reach her floor and round the corner to where her place is though, I stop dead in my tracks.

She's there. Outside her door. And she's kissing Tripp Krull. Or he's kissing her. All I know is they're kissing. Kissing. And with that, my heart shatters into about a billion little pieces.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

(Madge POV)

"This was so much fun tonight. We should definitely make this a regular thing for us." I tell Tripp as we walk back to my place, containers of pie in hand.

"I'm sure we could manage that. It was fun though, hanging out with you like this, talking to you."

"We hang out all the time." I remind him teasingly as I knock my shoulder into his.

"Yeah, true, but this was better. Admit it, it was."

I don't even have to think about it. He's right. This, all the cooking, the talking, it's so much better than just eating meals together in the cafeteria.

"Come on, you can admit it." He teases when I haven't said anything back.

"I admit nothing." I tease back playfully. This has been such a great day. I found out there's a library here, Tripp helped me bake my very first apple pie and overall, I'm in such a great mood.

"Looks like this is you." He says as we arrive at my door.

"That it is. Well, have a good night and I will see you at breakfast!" I tell him.

And then it happens. We're already standing so close to one another but then he takes a little step forward. I feel my heart start to race and I swear I stop breathing. It all happens in an instant. His fingers touch my face and then I feel his lips press against mine, kissing me. Tripp is kissing me. I'm frozen with shock. Not sure what to do. Not sure how I feel about it. Not sure I want this. It's over nearly as quickly as it began.

I stare at him speechless. He just smiles and then walks off, heading back towards the elevators without a word. I stay in place, my mind rapidly running over the events that just transpired. And then it gets worse. So much worse. I turn to go into my room and realize I'm not alone. Realize that Tripp and I were not alone. Gale was here. In the hallway, by the stairs. The look on his face lets me know that he saw everything.

Our eyes lock with one anothers and neither of us moves. Neither of us speaks. What do I say? How on earth do I explain this when I'm not even sure myself what just happened? Say something Madge, say anything I scream at myself inside my head. It's brutal.

"Gale…"

He just shakes his head no as if not wanting to speak to me. Perhaps not able to speak to me. And then he turns and goes back into the stairwell.

I can't leave it like this. It feels so wrong to just leave it this way. I call out after him but I don't know that he could even hear me. I drop my pie container and run after him. Something in me just tells me this is what I have to do. That I have to go after him. Have to find him. Have to then find the words to explain what he just saw.

In the stairwell, I call out for him again without answer. I reach his door, the first place I think to look for him. I knock but there's no answer. The code. I still know the code to unlock the door. My fingers hastily punch the keypad on the door and I have to enter it twice because I fumble, hitting an incorrect code the first time.

Inside, I find Gale. A clearly heartbroken Gale sitting in the floor between the bed and the wall, face buried in his hands.

I go over and sit next to him. I reach over and gently place my hand on his shoulder. He looks up. His face wet with tears and twisted in torment.

"You don't have to be sorry. You don't even have to explain. If it's him you want then I want you to be with him. So we don't have to talk about this. You can go. Just go." He tells me. And I'm not certain what hurts me the most. The evident pain on his face or the words I just heard. Unexpected tears spring to my eyes.

"Gale, I want you to know that what you saw, however much you just saw, you didn't see the whole thing. You didn't see enough to know what happened. Please let me try to explain."

"I saw enough. Seriously, Madge, just go. Please, just go home." He pleads. His voice isn't even angry like I would expect. It's just defeated and broken.

"But Gale, you don't understand." I begin to try and explain anyway.

"I saw you and him kissing. There isn't much to understand. I saw it with my own two eyes."

"But he kissed me! That's what you don't know, that's the part you couldn't possibly understand. I didn't know he was going to do that. I didn't know that he would kiss me."

"Can you please just leave? I'm begging you, please just leave me alone." He says burying his face in his hands again.

And I'm so torn. Do I stay and make him hear me? Make him understand? Or do I go and give him the space he wants? The space he thinks he needs. I don't know what to do and I don't know what it is old Madge would've done.

"Gale, I'll go if that's what you need me to do. If that's what you really want. But I'd rather stay here and work this out." I finally tell him. My voice is shaky and the tears are still falling down my cheeks.

He doesn't answer. And I don't budge. We just sit here in silence.

"Do you want to know what I was coming to see you about? I was coming to surprise you. Got temporary passes to get into the library after hours tonight. See, I'd figured out that everything I'd been doing so far was scaring you off. I was so hell bent

on making you love me again that I was forgetting to show you how I loved you. I needed to show you that I cared about you. So imagine my surprise when I came through that door and saw you with him."

"Gale, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say. I had no idea he was going to kiss me. It just happened."

"I believe you. It isn't that I don't." He says quietly.

"Then what's wrong?"

"It's just that I'm not sure about your feelings. See, I know how I feel about you and about Tripp Krull. And for that matter I know how he feels about you too. What I don't know anymore is how you feel about the two of us."

"Because I don't know how I feel!" I tell him, a tad too defensively.

"And I get that. I get that you're confused. I do. I swear I do. But I can't handle seeing that shit. I can't see you with him. Not like that. I can't. Did you know that until tonight, I was the only guy you'd ever kissed? Did you know it's been weeks since I was able to kiss you?"

My tears turn to sobbing. Why does this hurt so much? Why? It doesn't make sense. Or does it? Is it because deep down in my mind, in that forgotten place, am I screaming out for him? Is it Gale who I truly want to be with? Is it Gale who I truly love?

(Gale POV)

When she starts sobbing it kills me even more than seeing her kissing someone else did. It hurts just seeing her hurting. I was trying so hard to protect myself from the hurt that was ripping through me that I just wanted her to leave but now all I find myself wanting to do is just hold her and make her stop crying, to make us both stop hurting. So I reach out and I wipe away tears on her cheeks and then I pull her against my chest and I just hold her. I just reach over, wrap my arms around her and hold her to me. I let her stay like that until her sobs fade away and then I pull back. I don't completely let go of her, but I pull back so I can see her face.

"I'm so sorry." She says in the smallest of voices.

"Me too. I don't mean to make you cry. I never want to be the reason you cry." I tell her.

"Tell me something? Was it always this hard with us? Was it ever easy?"

"That is tough one to answer. Being with you, best thing I've ever experienced in my life. Also the hardest thing."

"Did we fight a lot?"

"No. Sure we fought some, but not often. And we always, always made up when our emotions calmed down."

"Am I breaking your heart? By not remembering?"

Yes. Yes you are. That's what I want to tell her but she seems so fragile and I can't stand the thought of making her cry again. "Know when I said being with you was also the hardest thing? Well, moments like this…these are hard. I want so badly for you to remember me, to remember us. But I also don't want to force you to be with me. I don't want you to feel obligated into a marriage with me." I pause and try to swallow down the lump in my throat. "I want you to be with whoever makes you happy."

"I don't know who makes me happy. I have a whole mess of emotions tangled up inside me and I have no idea what's real and what isn't. You scare me. And Tripp, well, it's easy to be around him. He doesn't make me nervous in the same way that you do. But then I wonder if the nervousness that I feel about you is really the love I can't remember? I have no idea what anything I'm feeling means." She squeaks out as she fights off another round of tears.

"That why you came after me tonight?" I ask.

She nods.

"You doing anything right now? You busy?" I ask her, an idea hitting me.

"What?" She utters in confusion.

"Come on." I say as I stand and pull her to her feet too. I don't let go of her hands at first but then I do only so I can wipe the tears from her cheeks. After that I fight the urge to hold her hand again.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"Library of course. I didn't get us these passes for nothing."

"You…you still want to go?" She asks me. A mix of surprise and just a hint of excitement register on her face.

"Obviously." I say smugly.

"And we won't get into trouble?"

"Nope. That's what the passes are for. We can use them to swipe ourselves in and we can stay for a few hours. It's all completely legal, I swear it."

She smiles up at me and I watch her bite her bottom lip. She looks nervous. Excited nervous though. And this, yeah, this feels right. This is what I wanted for tonight.

_**A/N: So this one was super short but I wanted the next chapter to be Gale and Madge's library date so this was where I had to stop on this chapter. Thanks for those of you who have been reading and reviewing this story! More to come soon!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

(Madge POV)

I can't believe he wants to still take me to the library right now. I love that he does but I just can't believe it. He was so upset and then I'd been upset too. Both of us, a total wreck and then somehow, some way, he manages to turn the mood completely around and still take me on this date. Well, date may be too strong a word for it. It may just be us hanging out. But maybe it's more. Maybe it really does qualify as a date. I have no idea. But I do know that I'm excited about it.

Earlier, he'd held me as I'd cried, overwhelmed with the confusion of my own feelings. And any other time I would've thought it uncomfortable to have him do something so, so intimate but tonight, when he did that, it felt just right. As if that was exactly what I needed to soothe me. And then, afterwards, he'd let go of me to wipe away tears from my cheeks and I found myself wishing he hadn't let go. I missed the feel of his hand against mine. Part of me wanted to be brave and reach out, taking his hand back in my own again but I didn't. Not enough courage for that I'm afraid.

It's quiet as we make our way to the library. It's late the halls are empty. And Gale and I aren't talking as we walk. It isn't awkward silence though. More comfortable than in previous times.

"Alright, this is it. Wanna close your eyes and be surprised when I open the door?" He asks as we stop in front of a door.

"Okay!" I say excitedly. I like that he's trying to make this even more fun than it already is. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, smiling and then biting my bottom lip to try and hold in my smile. I hear the passes being swiped over the scanner above the keypad and then listen as the door slides open. Do I walk in? Do I open my eyes yet? Is he going to lead me? I'm just about to ask when I feel his hand gently take my elbow and guide me forward.

"Alright, open em." He nearly whispers.

And I do. "Oh wow…" I breathe out. I blink, trying to figure out what my eyes want to focus on first. There are shelves and shelves lining the room, from one wall all the way down to the other. And each shelf is filled with books. More books than I've ever seen in my entire life. More than I could possibly have imagined being in one place at one time.

"Pretty incredible, huh?" He asks with a half grin on his face.

I nod, still a little on the speechless side. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, breathing in the smell of all the books.

"What are you doing?" He asks me. I open my eyes and look at him.

"Smelling the books. It's a very distinct smell. Don't you smell it?"

"Yeah, guess I do actually now that you mention it."

"It's something I like to do. Breathe in certain smells. Sort of marks the memory. Like from now on, whenever I smell old books, I'll think of this moment and remember what it felt like. I'll always associate the two things from now on." I ramble in explanation.

He smiles and his eyes glisten with some sort of emotion but I'm not sure what. Happiness yes, but there's more, there's something else there too.

"Is that ridiculous? Do I sound crazy?" I ask, suddenly feeling nervous and bashful.

He shakes his head and smiles. "Not crazy. I suppose I sorta do that too. Like the woods. The smell of the trees and the dirt. It brings me memories if I take the time to stop and think about em."

"Do you miss it? Going into the woods?" I ask him, finding it easy to make conversation with him for once.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I don't miss the hunting for food as much as I miss the open spaces and the freedom."

"I always wanted to go out there. Never told anybody that. I'd sit on my porch swing and try to imagine the fence wasn't there. Couldn't tell you how many hours I spent daydreaming about what lay beyond that fence." I tell him as I begin looking at the books on the shelves.

"Would it surprise you to learn that you've spent your fair share of time on the other side of that very fence?" He asks as he leans against one of the shelves I'm scrolling through.

I pause and look over at him. Me? Beyond the fence? "Really?"

He nods once. "Yep."

"Did I like it?"

"Yeah, you did. There was a lake I used to take you too. And sometimes we'd spend the night out there, like a vacation sort of."

"Really?" I say again. I'm sort of in awe at the thought of my being out there, where I wasn't supposed to be. I never broke rules like that. I wanted too, just never had the guts to do it. It's sort of hard even to imagine myself out there.

"Yeah. I'll tell you stories about it some time. For now though, you're supposed to be picking out a book. Our stories can wait." He says as he gestures at the room around us.

I'm a little surprised that he isn't jumping at the chance to tell me all about us. This holding back a little Gale that he's being just makes me more curious about him. About us.

"So, tell me then Gale Hawthorne, when did you start reading for fun? You never struck me as a book lover." I pry as I pull a book off the shelf and thumb through it.

"Book lover is probably a stretch of description. I only have a mild interest in books but sometimes, sometimes you find one that's not so bad. What about you? What makes you love to reading so much?"

"The escape that comes with reading about imaginary places and imaginary people."

"What's your all time, hands down favorite? Maybe they have it here."

"A fairytale from when I was a little girl. Rapunzel."

"A children's book? I think those are over here." He says and starts walking over to a shelf towards the back wall.

"How do you know that?" I ask as I follow him.

"Kid sized chairs." He says and points to two small wooden chairs with peeling red paint.

"Oh." I say, embarrassed at my obliviousness. Obviously, it's a children's section.

"Let's find that book, shall we?"

"I can't remember the author." I tell him as he kneels down and starts reading over the book titles on the lower shelf.

"Got it!" He exclaims as he pulls it out excitedly and holds it up for me to see.

I take it from him and stare down at it, memories of my childhood flooding through my mind. Memories of my mother lying next to me in bed and reading this story to me. It was so long ago, I was so very young when she did that.

"My mother used to read this to me before bed." I whisper, swallowing down a lump I feel forming in my throat.

"Read it to me?" He says.

"Right now?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Unless you don't want to."

I smile and shake my head. "No, I'll read it to you, if you want. It's kind of a girly story though." I warn him.

"So are we reading this thing or not?" He asks teasingly.

"Sure, let's sit. In chairs, more our size perhaps?" I say as I make my way over to a small bench, book in hand.

He follows and sits on the bench across from me.

"No, not there. Over here. This one has pictures." I say as I pat the bench next to me. And I'm being truthful, I'd want him to sit with me even if there weren't pictures in the book for him to see. Something about him keeps luring me in, making me want just a little bit more of him. But at the same time, it makes me nervous.

He takes a deep breath and takes a seat next to me. If I'm not mistaken, he seems nervous too. Surely I'm mistaken though. Why on earth would he be nervous? Isn't that my role?

(Gale POV)

I watch her as she pats the bench next to her and waves me over to sit next to her. Pictures in the books she tells me. Can't see them from over here. Nervousness fills me and it's so unexpected. Maybe it's my heart fearing being broken again. Maybe it's my hope that she's letting me in, allowing me to get to know her again, and vice versa. I shake it off and go over, taking a seat on the bench beside her.

And then I listen as she reads to me. This child's book, that means so much to her. It's late and we're both tired. Her voice begins to drift towards the end of the story and then fades away entirely. I take the book, not wanting it to slip from her hands. Her head falls gently to my shoulder. I freeze. Afraid to move a muscle. Afraid I'll ruin this moment. I just watch. I watch her sleep. Her blonde hair falling across her face and I want so badly to brush it back away from her face. Her gorgeous, peaceful face.

I wait until I'm barely able to keep my eyes open any longer and then I reach over and ever so lightly run my fingertips over her face. "Hey sleepyhead, storytime is over."

She snuggles closer, still mostly asleep. Murmurs something I can't understand. God, I'd give just about anything to wrap my arm around her and just hold her here like this all night. I practically ache to do it. But I can't not now. Not when she's just beginning to trust me again. Not when she's finally giving me a chance.

I gently nudge her and whisper to her once more. "Madge, c'mon, we gotta get you home to bed."

She hears me this time. Sits up looking startled and it strikes fear clear through me. Fear that she's about to pull away altogether again. Thankfully, it's only momentary.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep like that." She says getting to her feet and smoothing her hair and shirt with her hands. Her cheeks are flushed pink. She's embarrassed to have fallen asleep.

I laugh a little but only in the hopes that it'll ease her tension. "Why be sorry? It's late. Really late. And you're human. It's normal to fall asleep when it's this late. C'mon, let's get you home."

She relaxes a little and goes to put the book back on the shelf.

"No, keep it. You can borrow it for awhile." I stop her.

"Is that okay?"

"That's how libraries work. You borrow a book for awhile and then you bring it back and exchange it for another one. "

We walk back to her door and she hugs the book to her chest the entire time. I'm glad she likes it that much. Glad she was able to find something that feels like home. Outside her door, we linger for a minute, like always.

"Thank you for taking me to the library. I really liked it." She tells me as she looks up at me with those bluest of blue eyes of hers.

"Glad you found something special to you there." I tell her. God, I want to kiss her right now. And I could. We're standing so close to one another. And you can feel the energy building between us as we stand her, looking at one another, saying our goodnights.

"Me too." She practically whispers. Her eyes pleading for me to kiss her. Every bit of me pleading to do just that. But I don't. Not tonight. Not right now. Not this time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

(Madge POV)

The door closes behind me and I lean against it, eyes closed, book held closely against my chest. I want to remember this moment. This night. Want to never forget this feeling. I'm not even sure how to describe it. I'm so happy that I almost feel like I'm floating on air. From the moment we left for the library, everything felt just right. It was a perfect night. Well, maybe not totally perfect. He didn't kiss me goodnight. And oh how I'd wanted him too! And it seems silly of course because until tonight, I have no memory of ever kissing anyone. Ever. But tonight, as we stood outside the door saying goodnight, I'd wanted nothing more than for him to lean down and press his lips against mine. So much so that I nearly considered reaching up to kiss him myself. But he didn't and neither did I. I'm not sure why he didn't. Perhaps because it wasn't really a date. Perhaps he wasn't sure how I'd react. Mostly though, I think, though I hope it isn't the reason, that he couldn't bare the idea of kissing me after Tripp had done just that.

Tripp. Oh boy. What am I going to do with that? With him? I wish I knew how I really felt about him. Wish there were a definitive black or white area that told me exactly how I feel. As my friend, I absolutely adore him. He's so kind. And I've known him for practically my whole life. We grew up similarly, both in town, neither ever needing for a thing. And he's attractive too. He obviously is attracted to me though to what extent, I have yet to find out. But while in theory, Tripp and I would make a good couple, something feels slightly off about the idea of us. And I can't quite put my finger on what it is or why it feels this way.

And then there's Gale. Gale Hawthorne. With him, while initially I was more annoyed and nervous than anything else, I can feel myself really gravitating more towards wanting to be with him. As was evident tonight. I'd fallen asleep while reading aloud to him and when I awoke, after his nudging, I realized I'd been sort of cuddling up with him. It was only momentarily embarrassing and then it just felt like something totally natural.

I can't keep this up much longer though. The playing on both sides. I need to make my choice and I need to be more cautious with their hearts. It'd been awful watching Gale so upset over seeing Tripp kiss me. And I'm sure Tripp wouldn't enjoy seeing the same sort of affections between gale and I either. It would be unfair of me to continue the way things are now for much longer. Yes, I need to make a decision.

I need to talk to Tripp. Have to talk to him about that kiss. Oh that kiss. The one that I hadn't seen coming. Hadn't had a moment to even think about before I'd noticed Gale watching and run after him. And now, I'm so tired I don't even think I could ponder over it even if I wanted to. I slip off my shoes and climb into bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes. I'm asleep before my head even sinks into the pillow.

(Tripp POV)

I walk away without looking back. Smiling from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas. I did it. I just did it. Kissed her. Right there at her door. Right on the lips. I kissed her. I was so nervous and I'd nearly chickened out again but then I just did it. And it was amazing. She'd seemed startled, likely surprised at my suddenness but she hadn't gotten upset and she hadn't pulled away. While I'd been brave enough to actually finally kiss her, I hadn't been bold enough to just stick around and see what she really thought about it. Nope. I kissed her and then left her there, speechless.

It's late when I slip into our living quarters and I don't turn on any lights. I expect my family to be asleep and it seems like they are but as I climb under the covers I hear the curtain that hangs between my bed and Marah's slide back. She'd had a fit when we discovered we'd be sharing a room and the only solution my mother could come up with was running a wire across the room and hanging a curtain to give us each a little privacy.

"How'd it go Romeo?"

"Good. Like really good." I admit to her. Marah has long since known all about my love for Madge and since we arrived in 13, she's known all about my new attempts to win over Madge's affections.

"So she's your bestie again?" She chides sarcastically from her bed.

"No. I said it went really good. I did it. I kissed her goodnight."

I hear Marah sit up in bed. I know she's surprised. And I know she's excited.

"No you didn't!" She exclaims.

"Yep." I tell her proudly.

"And then what? What'd she do?"

"Well, then I bailed. Too nervous to stick around."

"You bailed? You're telling me that after all this time, after all the waiting, you finally kiss the girl and then you just leave her standing there?"

I shrug even though it's dark and she can't see me.

"Tripp Krull, you do not kiss the supposed love of your life and then leave her just standing there!"

"I didn't wanna ruin it, you know? If I'd waited around and she'd freaked out about it or something, it woulda ruined the whole thing."

"You do realize that even with you walking away, she could've still freaked out."

I sigh. I know she's right. I hope it didn't happen that way though. I really, really hope she didn't freak out.

"Yeah, I know it's possible she might have still freaked out. I hope she didn't. Don't think she did though."

"Well before you pulled your disappearing act, how'd she seem?"

"Speechless. A little surprised. But she sorta had a smile on her face I think. And she didn't pull away when I kissed her."

"Hmm, well that's probably a good sign. You should go meet her in the morning, walk with her to breakfast."

"Yeah, probably will." I tell her as I yawn. This was the best night ever. All those nights I'd spent wishing, dreaming of kissing Madge Undersee had finally come true. I swear I go to sleep with a smile on my face.

I get going a little bit early the next morning because I want to do like Marah said and meet Madge at her place and walk her to the cafeteria for breakfast. I get dressed quick and try to avoid my parents. If my mother were to see the smile I can't hide, she'll know something's up. And it isn't that I don't plan to tell her about it or anything, I just would like to keep it to myself for now until I know more about how Madge will respond.

I try not to run to get to her door and right as I come around the corner of her hallway, I stop and try to calm my nerves. I take a deep breath and then step around the corner. And then the smile completely falls from my face at what I see.

(Gale POV)

I dream about kissing her. The kiss I didn't give her leaves me thinking about doing nothing but just that. When I wake up, I shower and dress in record time because I wanna surprise Madge and take her to breakfast.

I knock on her door and wait. Then I knock again. It's early. Maybe she's still asleep? We were out awfully late last night. I'm turning to walk away when I hear her door open and then her angelic voice rings out. "Gale?"

I spin back around and smile at her. God, she's so gorgeous. "Hey. Thought you might wanna come with me to grab breakfast but then I realized how early it was and figured you might still be asleep."

"No, not sleeping. Just finished showering. I'd love to go to breakfast if you don't mind coming in and waiting while I finish getting ready. I'll only take a minute." She tells me with the most genuine of smiles on her face. Proof last night was truly as good as I'd thought it was.

"Sure, I can wait. " I tell her as I follow her back into her place.

"I just have to finish combing out my hair and then we can go." She calls over her shoulder as she heads for the bathroom.

"Take your time. I'm in no hurry." I tell her as I take a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Last night was really fun. I'm really glad you put all that together with the library passes and all." She tells me. I can't see her because she's in the bathroom but the tone in her voice is exactly the one I've been dying to hear. The true Madge voice, not the illusion like one she's recently reverted to using when talking with me.

"Yeah, it was a pretty cool date, huh?" I call out to her without thinking about it first. I wince as soon as the words are out of my mouth. Great. I just formally labeled it a date. God, please don't let her pull away from me over this.

"So it was a date?" She asks suddenly appearing in the doorway of the bathroom. She doesn't sound freaked out necessarily but her face is blank and isn't offering up any clues as to how she feels about this.

"Well, um, it, um…" I stutter over my words and then I just sort of spit it out. "Yeah, I like to think of it that way." I don't even look up at her for fear of what emotion I might read on her face.

"Well good, because I like to think of it that way too." I hear her say and I look up in a flurry of surprise and excitement and find her smiling at me as she leans against a doorframe with her hairbrush in her hands.

"That so?" I say as I try to minimize the grin forming on my face.

"Mhmm." She says as she disappears into the bathroom again.

"Well we should do it again sometime." I say, trying to sound casual about the whole thing though I'm failing miserably at it.

"I like that. You ready?" She asks as she reappears in front of me.

I nod and we exit her little room. Just outside the door, I take a chance, a risky chance, and I reach over and hold my hand out to her. I don't take her hand into mine but rather hold my own out for her to take, should she want it. Please want it, I think to myself. She looks at it and then bites her bottom lip before glancing up at me and then gently placing her hand in mine. And I swear my heart skips a beat out of sheer happiness.

We begin walking towards the stairs and then I notice Tripp Krull standing there . Watching us. And he looks as if he might be sick.

"Morning. You heading up to breakfast?" I ask in my most chipper sounding tone.

"Uh, yeah." He replies quietly. His eyes peer down at where our hands are joined.

And while in times past, I would've handled this differently; I do something for Madge's sake. I let go of her hand. I know for a fact that she hasn't had time to talk to Tripp following their little kiss and I know she's still somewhat trying to decide who she wants to be with. My letting go of her hand right now isn't easy but I do it for her. I do it in the hopes that it will make this less awkward for her. It's my gift to her out of love.

"We're heading there now too. Do you want to walk with us?" Madge asks him after glancing nervously at me.

"Uh, no, you guys go ahead, I've got something to do first. Be there in a bit." He tells her with the pain obvious in his eyes.

"Okay, see you up there." She calls out to him as he continues down the hall. It's obvious that he's just avoiding us because of what he just saw. Her hand in mine.

Once we're in the stairwell, she stops walking so I do too.

"Why did you do that just now? Why did you let go of my hand?" She asks. Her face looks as if she's on the verge of being upset.

"I didn't want you to be uncomfortable. I know you haven't made up your mind for sure yet about what it is you want. Figured I'd do what I could to make it less awkward in front of Tripp." I explain as I try to figure out why she would be upset about it.

Relief floods her face and she lets out a little breath. "I thought you were going to hit him. I thought that's why you let go." She says quietly with a hint of laughter behind her words.

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Because he kissed me."

And then it hits me. He must have told her about the whole face punch incident when he gave her the flowers.

"I wouldn't do that to you. I told you after that last time I hit him that I wouldn't do it again."

She's quiet, deep in thought for a moment. And I have never see what's coming next. She takes both my hands in hers and gives them a light downward tug, reaches up on her tiptoes and then as I come downward, she kisses me. Quickly, gently pressing her lips against mine.

_**A/N: I am so incredibly sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter posted! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

(Madge POV)

How I ever mustered the courage, I'll never know exactly. All I know is my heart felt something when we were standing there. My heart said to kiss him. It practically begged for me to kiss him. So without fretting over it, I reached out, gave a gentle tug on both his hands to pull him down where I could reach him and then standing on tip-toes, I very quickly kissed him.

It wasn't until I was standing flat on the ground again that nervousness found me and a full swarm of butterflies made a home in my stomach. I stood there like an idiot, staring at him, blushing and feeling extremely vulnerable. He stood there, staring at me for a split second himself, his dark eyes full of mystery and excitement. And then I felt his hands on either side of my face and he leaned in to kiss me again.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to kiss you again." He says in near whisper as he pulls back, his hands now finding mine.

And I'm sort of at a loss for words. That floaty feeling I felt after our library date is back, consuming me once again and stealing my words, my thoughts. All I can do is stand here blushing.

"You okay?" He asks, worry tinged in his voice.

Geez, say something Madge, you're freaking him out. "I'm okay." I manage to squeak out.

He stares at me for a few seconds then offers up a smile. "Well good. How about we go have that breakfast then?" He asks giving his head a nod towards the stairs.

"Sounds good." I tell him as he leads me up the stairs.

As we walk, it's quiet but in a good way. I can't believe how kissing him just made me feel. I can't believe I was just sharing a kiss with Gale Hawthorne. Me, kissing Gale. And it was utterly amazing. Nothing like kissing Tripp. Not even close. This, yes this felt like more than just a kiss.

(Tripp POV)

I mumble something about having something to do before breakfast and leave before I completely crumble in front of them. Really, I had nothing to do. So I went back to my living quarters and flopped down on my bed. What the hell happened? Where had it all gone wrong? I have a great date with her, baking a pie and having a great conversation. I walk her home, kiss her goodnight. Come back the next morning and find her and Hawthorne exiting her place. Together. While holding hands. How'd he do it? How did he steal her all over again? What'd I miss? She was falling for me this time! Me dammit! I punch the flimsy mattress with my fist and throw my pillow at the wall. What is it that she sees in him that she can't see in me?

I lay here sulking for as long as I can before I have to go to work. If Marah was here, I'd get her to switch shifts with me today because the last thing I want right now is to go scrub dishes next to a gloating Gale Hawthorne. But Marah's gone and I have no clue when she'll be back so I have no other choice.

In the kitchen, I find Hawthorne already busy scrubbing away. I put on my apron and grab a dish towel to start drying. I don't say anything as I walk up. Just pick up a tray and start wiping it down.

"Just for the record, it wasn't what it probably looked like." He finally says quietly without looking at me. I don't know if this is his way of flaunting it or if he's throwing me a bone. Either way, it pisses me off.

"Wasn't you coming out of her place holding hands and stealing her all over again?" I spit out at him angrily. I know exactly what I saw this morning.

"Stealing her?" He echos, his own voice sounding angry now.

"Yeah, stealing her. Everytime I get close to her, you waltz in with your damn good looks and your charm and sweep her right off her feet. We had a great date last night. A great one. And then somehow you managed to make her forget about that and now you've got her wrapped up in your little hand all over again."

"Let's get this straight. I'm not stealing anyone. Madge is my wife. And I think it's fair to say I've been way more easygoing about all of this than I had to be. You think I don't know what you've been doing? You think I'm too stupid to see you making your little moves on her? And I know all about your date last night. The kiss too. But you're outta your sleezy little mind if you think for one second that I'm gonna sit back and just let you have her. I'm gonna let her decide and I know she'll pick me."

"You don't deserve her!"

"Nope. I don't. Never did. But that doesn't mean she won't love me. What I had with her, I'll find it again. We will find it again. In time, she'll come back to me, heart and soul. And I won't have to fight you for her. I won't have to pull any stunts. Her heart will remember me. She'll remember us." He tells me with a confidence that's almost unnerving.

"Yeah? We'll see about that." I tell him, faking what confidence I can. I can't be here. I throw down my dishtowel and I get the hell out of there without looking back.

I'm halfway back home when I run into Madge. Fabulous. Just freaking fabulous.

"Tripp, hi."

"Hi." I say not really making eye contact with her.

"You not working today?" She asks.

"I was but I left."

"Oh. Well, what are you doing now?"

"Going home." I tell her. I feel angry with her but I know that isn't fair.

"Maybe I could come with you? I'd like to talk with you about last night." She asks gingerly.

"Sure. Come on." I tell her with a sigh. She follows me back to my place and thankfully, my family's still out so we can talk in private.

Once we're in my room, she sits down on Marah's bed, I sit on mine. "So talk." I tell her, my voice still a little angry.

"Well, I think it's safe to say you surprised me with that goodnight kiss last night." She begins.

I shrug. "And you wish it hadn't happened?" I ask.

"Yes and no. What I really wish is that I knew how I felt about you and how you felt about me. I've been desperately trying to figure out where I belong, be that with you or with Gale or no one at all and honestly, I'm just starting to figure it out."

"You want to know how I feel about you? I'm crazy about you! Head over heels in love with you! I have been for as long as I can remember! I volunteered as tribute because I love you so much!" I boldly tell her as hot tears form in my eyes.

"Oh Tripp…you put yourself in the games for me?" She gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.

I shake my head. "You knew that. Before your memory loss."

"Did I know that you loved me?"

"Not until we were leaving for the games."

"Tripp, I don't know what to say…"

"Just be honest with me. Tell me how you feel about. I mean, am I wasting my time trying to get you to love me back?"

She moves over to sit next to me. I can see it on her face though, this won't end well for me. He's already got her heart.

"Tripp, I can tell you that I love so many things about you but I don't think you're the person I'm meant to be with forever. Not in that way." She says as she gently places her hand on my arm.

"But how can you be sure? You can't even remember him yet you think you're meant to be with him? We could have something really great together, you and me, I know we could."

"I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to make sense of it. All I know is that when I'm with him, my heart feels something different, something deeper. And I know this isn't what you wanted to hear at all and I'm so sorry."

I shrug and shake my head. I knew it. I knew it was over the minute I saw her holding Gale's hand this morning. I think that's why I was so angry seeing them together this morning. Because it brought the realization that memory or no memory, I'm always going to come in second. I'll never be the person she loves most. And now, having her confirm it just seals it all up.

"No, it is what it is. I understand. I appreciate your honesty. But if you don't mind, I think I just want to be alone right now." I tell her, not looking up, not wanting to see her blue eyes right now. Not wanting her to see the tears that are coming.

"I'm so sorry Tripp." She says again. Her voice is genuine and she leaves without another word.

(Gale POV)

When I get off work, which is later than usual thanks to Tripp skipping out mid-shift, I find Madge waiting for me in the stairwell. Sitting cross-legged on the bottom step, smile on her gorgeous face. Just the sight of her sitting here, waiting on me, makes my stomach flip flop.

"Hey! I've been waiting for you." She greets me as she hops to her feet.

"You could've come back to the kitchen. Didn't have to sit out here by yourself."

"Nah, I didn't want to distract you. Besides, I don't mind sitting out here by myself. Makes for good thinking time."

"And what might you be thinking about?" I ask her with a teasingly raised brow.

"Just stuff." She teases back. I love how she's getting more and more comfortable around me now. Like she just needed to relax and be herself and then it's as if everything else is starting to fall into place.

"Well, what are you up too now?" I ask. I realize she was waiting for me but we didn't have specific plans or anything and I'm not sure what she'd like to do.

"Just thought we could hang out for a bit before dinner. Nothing in particular." She shrugs as we make our way up the stairs.

She seems comfortable so I reach over and take her hand. She smiles up at me, biting her bottom lip. And it feels like I can breathe again. I have a chance. She's letting me back into her life. I couldn't possibly be happier about it. Short of her getting her memory back, this is the best thing that could be happening.

"Okay. Well, we could go visit my family. Or Peeta and Katniss maybe. Or maybe go back to the library if you want."

"I've got a better idea." She tells me with a grin.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She says very matter of factly.

I laugh. "You planning on clueing me in?"

"I was thinking about it."

"Well, lead the way." I say with a smile, giving in to the fight to know what it is we're doing.

We walk for a while, quietly. Occasionally stealing looks at one another. Trading smiles. Hands folded tightly together. When we stop, it's in the agriculture center. They have a whole area of trees, bushes and all these benches you can sit on and little pathways. On the tour I took in orientation, they said it's called a park. I have no idea how they managed to grow all this underground but they did. Ever since the tour, I'd been meaning to come back over here but never got around to it.

"The park?" I ask.

"Thought you'd like it. Close as I could get you to the woods. Figured you went to all that trouble to take me to the library, the least I could do was bring you here, let you get a little dose of nature. I know it isn't nearly as spectacular as the woods must be but I was thinking that if you were to close your eyes and inhale, it would be kind of similar." She starts rambling as if she's afraid I don't like it.

"Madge, stop. I love it." I tell her softly as I sit down on one of the benches and pat the spot next to me for her to sit down.

"I also brought you here for another reason. I wanted to tell you something. Something important." She begins as she takes a deep breath.

"I'm listening." I tell her as I take her hand in mine again. Why does she look nervous all of a sudden I wonder?

"I went to talk to Tripp today. I wanted to tell him that I didn't think he was the person I was meant to be with."

"How'd that go?" I ask as I swallow a lump in my throat. Please let her be about to say what I think she's about to say. Please let her say she's chosen me.

"It wasn't fun and it certainly wasn't easy, but it was necessary. You see, I don't want to continue wavering between the two of you, wondering whom I want to be with. I've made up my mind. I want to be with you, Gale."

"You do?" I ask as it really sinks in what she just said to me.

"Mmhmm. I do. Now, I don't have my memory back yet and a lot of this feels very new for me so I will need you to be patient with me at times, but I do want this. I want you."

I lean over and kiss her softly. Once, lightly on the lips. "I'm really glad you chose me." I whisper.

"Me too." She whispers back.

I pull her a little closer to me and kiss her again, our fingers intertwined. She chose me. I feared she wouldn't. Hoped, pleaded and prayed that she would. And she did. Someway, somehow, she found a way back to me. And I can't wait to make her fall in love with me all over again.

_-The End-_

**_A/N: Well, there you have it. Thanks to all my readers for reading along with this short story and for all your input along the way! You guys are the biggest part of what makes all this writing so enjoyable, so thank you for that!_**


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